Usually when I enter a thrift store, I am accustomed to my nose being assaulted by the standard “musty-dusty-old shoe-old people stuff” smell.
Today…it went a step further.
The smell that violated my olfactory nerve upon entry, had more of a” musty-dusty-old shoe-old people stuff-ya-gotta-be-kidding-who used the restroom and DID NOT SPRAY?” odor. I did an immediate about- face. The Shroud of Turin could have been in that place and it would not have mattered. I do have my limits.
So I got to thinking…and while I may talk up climbing through garbage heaps and sifting through spider-laden boxes….the following are some areas where I draw the line at thrift stores.
1. Anything that is in a 6 foot radius of a portable potty chair is declared toxic.
2. Anything that is touching up to that 6 foot radius…toxic too.
3. Items with indescribable “gunk”. Gunk can have many origins…all of which make me dry gag.
4. Items that were touching the thing with the “gunk”.
5. I don’t buy pots/pans/skillets. I cannot stop my mind from thinking they could have possibly been used to help drain a clogged toilet. “Eleanore…do you want to donate this pan we have in the bathroom? Sure seems like a waste to throw it away.”
6. Stuffed animals=Booger Banks. ‘Nuf said.
7.Baskets. While the normal person would probably think they held fake flowers or sweet smelling baby socks….my mind travels to the bathroom (most likely where they are bailing out the toilet with the pan) and using the basket as a trashcan. “Eleanore…what about this basket? Seems a shame to waste a nice basket..oops..almost left a kleenex in there.”
8. Kitchen appliances. If I can’t tell what kind of food/gunk it is that could be on it, I assume its poop. Therefore…its just not worth taking home anything that could have been pooped on in a kitchen.
9. Drinking glasses. See all of the above.
10. And finally, I cannot look at a thrift store pillow without thinking how many behinds have been wedged up on it. “Eleanore…have you seen that little pillow? I wanted to give it to that nice…Oh wait..hold on…it’s right here…I was sitting on it”.