Spotlight comes on stage. On chair sits an old woman. She’s sleeping. Her eyes open slowly. She scans the crowd. She takes a drink from the jelly jar on the old table next to her.
Old woman: “Hello there. I know why ya come. The same reason why everyone has come. To hear the words that help “stuffhunters” like yaself become greater at what ya do….STUFFHUNT!
She takes another drink of water from glass and clears her throat. From her pocket she removes a list. She puts on her glasses.
Old woman: Some say these superstitions are true, others ain’t too sure. Ya’ll have to decide.…I’m just here to tell ya..that’s it….this is Thrift Store Loooorrrrre! She cackkles loudly and clears throat and looks over glasses at the crowd.
Old woman: NUMBER ONE! Thrift stores can gather mighty amounts of things after a holiday weekend…fer a couple weeks usually. Iff’n the weather is good….even more so. NUMBER TWO! Itsa mystery…but yer stores that have them volunteers workin’ have some better prices…maybe its cuz they have a good heart…or just plain ol’ good sense. NUMBER THREE! Stores bearin’ the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval ain’t going to have a lot of “hidden” treasures. Ain’t sayin’ filth is what to look for…but if you get the eery feelin like you moseyed into a Target…it’s a sign. NUMBER FOUR! Collectible sections in thrift stores are really antique booths gone all cattywonker. Beware! In the back, lurks a wild eyed person with a grease pencil….and a donated 1985 volume of Kovels Antiques. And finally…….NUMBER FIVE! Never pass up a buggy. Legend has it that if you pass up a buggy….the junkin’ leprachauns place mountains of items out in the store that only you would love….because they know ya can’t carry them all.
She takes a drink a water, puts list on the table, and removes glasses.
Old woman: Ya can believe what you like….or ya can believe the people that have been there…..it makes no matter to me. Its just Thrift Store Looorrrre!!!! She cackles loudly.
Any lore in your neck of the woods?